Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Life
why do we exercise? I just got back from the gym, amazed at how much music a little mp3 player could produce. Aside from rejoicing at that (an ipod really helps you exercise I swear I run longer just to hear more songs randomly), I realised that life has no meaning.
We run because we have to, we work because we have to, we long for sleep every night (at least that's what my day tends toward). i won't be killing myself anytime soon because the prospect of non-consciousness and having absolutely nothing to do scares me even more then being trapped in a perpetual state of Doing. Too much Marx has emphasized a difference between just Being and well, pretty much everything else we think is normal. Species Being. would I really be happier that way, I think it's probably impossible to figure that out so I'm not even going to try.
We gym -
we look as good as possible
- we buy nice clothes
-to look nice
-and we buy nice bags and shoes and hair to go with the clothes so we can
-look nice to go out with more people to buy more things
-eventually someone comes along
-we think we love him, but really, he's just
something else to go with the clothes
-we sign a contract that was already binding since the day we were born
-we work
-we (maybe) have children or a dog
-we near death
it's always about nearing death. Why am I alive, really?
I was running and I'm still running and I'm running and I have no idea why
one day goes into the next, has time really passed at all? All these man made partitions of time only create more fear, make us run faster to a destination that no one wants to reach. Paradoxical living 101.
I have no idea why I'm alive
belle epoque at 10:23 PM