Saturday, April 14, 2007
America
America. I'd say that word in my mind over and over and realise that I still can't fully comprehend the fact that I'm actually here now. Maybe because the weather is good today, or maybe because I hit a good song on my gym track, but i realise I really do love America. Despite my encounters with poverty and sordidness, I've been met equally over and over again with incidents of beauty and exhilaration. There's just something about this place that makes people dream, that makes me feel more hopeful than I've ever been, something about the unprecedented creative forces and propensity towards life at its extremes that makes me feel overjoyed to be here.
-Speeding along the wide, bright highway in a Porsche, going to the beach at night where the night sky lies suspended, devoid of stars, strolling downtown on a Sunday afternoon, sitting in a theatre waiting for a musical to start, passing the quads to class every morning, backed by such an aura of purposefulness and of knowledge, and the city lights, just those city lights-
I feel the world rushing before me and I just want to hold on to it so tightly. I should really enjoy my time here. Not just in a utilitarian, pragmatic manner, and not cramming 24/7 with majors, or doing what I dislike (though incentivized), basically I shouldn't be bringing my Singaporean life to America. Albeit there will always be a balance, but even if I do what I'm inclined towards, there shouldn't be a problem, after all I have an inclination towards excellence :)
Is it worth it then? To exist at both ends of the spectrum, where periods of sublime amazement are matched by periods of deep, deep despair? I would rather have this existence than one of contented and stable mediocrity.
Give me my rollercoaster
I love America
belle epoque at 6:58 PM